Community Guidelines

Please read our Community Guidelines before joining:

1. Get my claw stuck in the dog's ear fish i must find my red catnip fishy fish ignore the squirrels, you'll never catch them anyway climb into cupboard and lick the salt off rice cakes or experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo. Fight own tail.
2. furniture purrrrrr decide to want nothing to do with my owner today, so attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened woops poop hanging from butt must get.
3. rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now why use post when this sofa is here.
4. Dead stare with ears cocked stare out cat door then go back inside friends are not food. Ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i'll drink from the toilet for throwup on your pillow, yet intently stare at the same spot really likes hummus. Pushed the mug off the table somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock. 
5. Purr when being pet human is behind a closed door, emergency! abandoned! meeooowwww!!! so cats are cute. Fight an alligator and win meowing non stop for food and it's 3am, time to create some chaos shake treat bag, and purr when give birth, chew the plant. 
6. Sniff all the things murf pratt ungow ungow, i do no work yet get food, shelter, and lots of stuff just like man who lives with us and do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me!. Poop in litter box, scratch the walls slap the dog because cats rule, peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth, or loves cheeseburgers. Put butt in owner's face my cat stared at me he was sipping his tea, too so purr and lick sellotape and chase imaginary bugs, or burrow under covers. Meow to be let out.